Chapter Seventy-Three: Observation

Ye Yan and Xia He talked from the southernmost part of the world to the northernmost, sitting in the grove and chatting deep into the night about family matters and trivialities. It was only with great reluctance that they finally parted ways. By the time Ye Yan returned to the guest room, the sky was already beginning to lighten with the first hints of dawn—the whole night had slipped away just like that.

He was planning to seize the moment to catch up on some sleep, but as he passed by the door, he happened to see Xu Si squatting outside, smoking. The guy had thrown a suit jacket over his shoulders, looking for all the world like an old man puffing away at the entrance of a village. His shirt buttons were fastened haphazardly, and the ground around his feet was littered with cigarette butts.

Just then, he was staring blankly at a tree not far away, so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the cigarette had burned down to the filter. He didn’t even hear Ye Yan’s footsteps approaching—only when Ye Yan patted his shoulder did he snap out of his daze.

“What are you thinking about, so lost in your own world? The cigarette’s about to burn your lips—aren’t you afraid of singeing your tongue?”

Ye Yan reached out, plucked the stub from Xu Si’s mouth, and casually crushed it underfoot.

Hearing the voice, Xu Si slowly lifted his head, revealing a stubbled, unshaven face and bloodshot eyes. It looked like he, too, hadn’t slept all night.

“You’re up early,” he mumbled in greeting, as if the words bypassed his brain entirely.

Ye Yan looked at him, puzzled. “Something on your mind?”

“No…” Xu Si lowered his head and fished around in his pocket for his cigarette pack—whether he genuinely wanted another smoke or was just dodging the question was impossible to tell. He searched for some time, only to come up with an empty box. Tossing it to the ground, he turned to Ye Yan and held out his hand.

“Give me a smoke.”

Ye Yan took out his own cigarettes and lighter, passing them to Xu Si. Xu Si took one, lit up, then—without ceremony—slipped both the cigarette pack and the lighter into his own pocket.

Ye Yan: “???”

He could let the cigarette slide—but the lighter too? And right in front of him, brazenly pocketed? Now that was just too much.

Although he was annoyed, seeing Xu Si so dejected, Ye Yan couldn’t be bothered to make a fuss. Let him take it—a lighter was nothing.

Still, he was curious. What on earth could have happened to leave someone as sharp and suave as Xu Si in such a state of gloom?

Pale blue smoke curled between them. Xu Si drew deeply, and after a long, heavy silence, finally spoke, posing Ye Yan a philosophical question.

“Yezi, tell me—what’s the meaning of life for people like us?”

“To look at lewd pictures,” Ye Yan replied, after a moment’s thought, with total seriousness.

Xu Si turned his head, speechless. “I’m being serious. The world’s so vast—surely there’s something out there that can shake the soul.”

“To look at amazing lewd pictures,” Ye Yan answered without missing a beat.

Xu Si’s face darkened as he bit down on his cigarette. “Then send some to me, why don’t you!”

A few short jokes, and the oppressive mood was swept away. Xu Si didn’t look quite so downcast anymore.

Ye Yan shook his head at him. “All right, enough with the nonsense. You, getting philosophical? With a face thicker than a wall—do you even deserve to? If you’ve hit a snag or something tough, you have to say it out loud. If it can be solved, your brothers will help you. If it can’t, at least everyone can have a laugh about it.”

“Damn it…” If he weren’t sure to lose, Xu Si would’ve strangled this irritating bastard already. Was this how you comforted someone? He’d only been a little down, but after hearing Ye Yan talk, now he was outright depressed. Ye Yan really was a master at consolation.

For all his roguish ways, Ye Yan had a wife, after all.

With that thought, Xu Si decided to share what was troubling him. “I confessed, and got rejected.”

“That’s it?” Ye Yan had expected something far more serious to drag someone like Xu Si into such a funk. Turned out, it was just this minor thing.

Seeing Ye Yan’s reaction, Xu Si nearly lost it, his face darkening. “What do you mean, ‘that’s it’? I got rejected by the goddess I’ve secretly loved for years, and that’s all you have to say?”

“What reaction should I have, then?” Ye Yan spread his hands, helpless. “Want me to buy a couple of firecrackers, light them up in the courtyard, and hire a band to play ‘A Good Day’ on repeat for you?”

Xu Si: “…”

“Damn it, friendship over. Get out—right now, as far as you can.”

“Don’t be so hot-tempered,” Ye Yan said, cleaning his ear with a pinky.

“Hot-tempered? If I didn’t have the self-control drilled into me by years of mandatory education, I’d have beaten you to death on the spot. What more do you want?”

Xu Si’s teeth ground in frustration. He’d always known Ye Yan was a rascal, but didn’t realize he could be this insufferable. For all the years he’d known Ye Yan, today was truly an eye-opener.

Ye Yan, however, didn’t take offense. He patted Xu Si’s shoulder, his tone unexpectedly earnest.

“Hey, chasing a girl is supposed to be bumpy—who lands it on the first try? Back when I was after Xia He, it took me a lot of effort too.”

Hearing this, Xu Si felt a little better, his anger subsiding.

“So what should I do now?” he asked.

“What should you do?” Ye Yan probed. “There are plenty of flowers in the world—why obsess over just one? You’re a grown man, do you really need to hang yourself from a single tree?”

Xu Si fell silent, but it was clear he wasn’t changing his mind.

Ye Yan sighed. This brother wasn’t just hanging himself from a tree—he’d rather break his neck than move an inch.

He was actually surprised. Xu Si, usually so unkempt and shameless, forever chasing after pretty girls like a rutting terrier, turned out to be a hopeless romantic.

“Chasing girls is different for everyone. What worked for me might not work for you,” Ye Yan said. “How about this—I’ve got a book you can read. It might help.”

“A book?” Xu Si was skeptical.

Ye Yan didn’t explain. Instead, a flash of blue light flickered at his sleeve, and Sui Feng’er, still bleary-eyed from sleep, appeared.

“Yan, you called?” Sui Feng’er asked, clearly annoyed at being roused from his dreams.

“The books I gave you all for killing time and learning professional skills—do you still have them?”

“I do.”

“All right, if I remember right, there’s one with a black cover. Bring it out.”

“Okay.”

Sui Feng’er came and went in a flash, soon returning with a thick, black-bound book in his arms.

“Give it to him,” Ye Yan gestured to Xu Si.

Xu Si, not knowing what Ye Yan was up to, took the book. But after glancing at the cover, his expression turned odd. “Postpartum Care for Sows?”

Ye Yan coughed awkwardly. “That’s not the one.” He snatched it back, handed it to Sui Feng’er, and cleared his throat.

Soon, Sui Feng’er made another trip to the inner world and returned with a thinner black book.

“The Art of the Bootlicker”

“???” Xu Si stared. “I’m a regional director for North China, and you want me to be a bootlicker?”

“Then forget it.”

Just as Ye Yan was about to have Sui Feng’er take the book back, Xu Si suddenly jumped up and snatched the book from his hands.

“…I’ll just have a look, that’s all.”