15 Pride

Lu Yu turned his head slightly to look at Lu Jinlu, who, as always, wore an expressionless face—restrained yet commanding, as if, apart from their parents, he held the most authority in this household.

He wasn’t sure if his elder brother was speaking on his behalf, but it seemed Lu Jinlu had long grown impatient with the conversation at the dinner table.

Lu Linxing’s eyelids drooped. “Big brother is so fierce.”

Zhuang Ningyue played along with Lu Jinlu. “Just listen to your brother and don’t say anything more.”

Lu Linxing only dared to be so insolent when Zhuang Ningyue was around. In truth, he was quite afraid of Lu Jinlu, but compared to him, Lu Yu seemed to be the most fearful.

Yet…

He lifted his chin and glanced across at Lu Yu.

Lu Yu appeared somewhat different from usual; at least, it seemed he wasn’t as afraid of Lu Jinlu anymore. Thinking back on Lu Jinlu’s sudden reproach earlier, it was strange—when had their relationship softened?

After Lu Jinlu’s words, the meal quieted considerably. Occasionally, Zhuang Ningyue and the others would exchange a few words with their aunt.

Lu Yu had little appetite and couldn’t finish the food in his bowl initially. But recalling Song Jianli’s reminder, he steeled himself and forced down every grain of rice.

Just as he was about to set down his bowl and leave the table, Zhuang Ningyue suddenly looked up at him. “Lu Yu, your father and I need to go to the company tonight. Your younger brother’s homeroom teacher asked for his test paper to be graded. You should take a look at it for him.”

Since this task came from his mother, Lu Yu had no reason to refuse.

Besides, his younger brother was only in the first year of high school; Lu Yu surely could handle those questions.

He was about to agree.

“I don’t want to. Isn’t Yi Ge here? Let Yi Ge check it for me,” Lu Linxing objected. “And second brother’s grades aren’t that great anyway. Are you sure you can trust him?”

With so many people at the dinner table, Lu Linxing’s blunt remark embarrassed Lu Yu, his face flushing instantly. He glanced helplessly at Zhuang Ningyue, hoping she would speak up for him, for he was not as incapable as implied.

Zhuang Ningyue frowned. “Your Yi Ge is a guest; don’t trouble him.”

“Auntie, it’s fine. I can do it!” Lu Xiangyi, ever enthusiastic, patted his chest.

Zhuang Ningyue smiled. “You kids are going to play some game later anyway. Since second brother has nothing else to do, just let him handle it.”

“Right, Lu Yu? You don’t have anything going on tonight, do you?” After speaking, Zhuang Ningyue turned to seek Lu Yu’s opinion.

Lu Yu truly had nothing else to do, so he nodded in agreement. “Okay.”

“All right, all right. Eat up, darling,” Zhuang Ningyue said, picking up the serving chopsticks to place pieces of meat on their plates.

Lu Yu sniffed softly and turned to sit on the sofa.

Lu Jinlu tilted his head to glance at the spot where Lu Yu had eaten. The chair was straight, no food was spilled around the bowl, and every grain of rice inside had been eaten, leaving the bowl looking untouched.

He pressed his lips together and set down his chopsticks. “I’m done eating.”

“That’s all you ate?” Aunt asked.

Lu Jinlu replied, “I’m full.”

“Only eating that little,” Aunt muttered.

Zhuang Ningyue added, “Xiao Jin’s always eaten little; he’s a bit picky.”

“Mom,” Lu Jinlu called.

Zhuang Ningyue immediately laughed. “See, you can’t even keep a straight face.”

Lu Jinlu sighed helplessly and turned to join Lu Yu on the sofa.

Lu Yu sat quietly in a corner of the sofa, not playing on his phone or doing anything with his hands, just sitting there alone.

—

Seeing Lu Jinlu approach, Lu Yu clenched the sofa briefly before lowering his gaze to the side.

They faced each other: one resting a laptop on his knees, working; the other sitting silently on the sofa, wordless.

—

Their aunt and uncle had a flight early the next day, so after dinner, they said their goodbyes and left.

Before leaving, their aunt held Lu Xiangyi tightly, crying with a sobbing breath, repeatedly urging him to eat well.

Zhuang Ningyue and the others had company matters to attend to, so after the aunt left, the two of them drove to the office.

Lu Yu followed Lu Linxing into his room.

Lu Linxing’s room was equipped with state-of-the-art gaming gear, and Lu Xiangyi’s expression was exaggeratedly amazed.

Because Lu Xiangyi was overweight, their aunt controlled his diet. Fearing that gaming might worsen his weight, she never bought him a computer.

Now that Lu Linxing had top-tier gaming equipment, it surely fulfilled Lu Xiangyi’s desire to play. The two brothers hadn’t seen each other in a while, so they crowded around the computer desk as soon as they entered the room.

Lu Yu asked where the test paper was.

Impatient, Lu Linxing said it was in the desk drawer and told him to get it himself.

Lu Yu glanced at the crystal-clear game graphics on the screen, then lowered his eyes and walked over to the desk, taking out the only test paper inside.

Hearing the desk drawer close, Lu Linxing suddenly turned halfway around, resting his arm on the back of his chair with a mischievous smile. “Second brother, if you find questions you can’t answer, don’t just mark them wrong blindly. If you really can’t do it, my Yi Ge isn’t useless either.”

Lu Yu shot Lu Linxing an annoyed look but didn’t want to argue. Lu Linxing, ever the rogue, said with a sly grin, “Second brother, you’re not mad, are you? I’m just joking.”

But jokes that hurt aren’t really jokes, and unfortunately, Lu Linxing would never understand.

Lu Yu felt uneasy in his heart but was already accustomed to such behavior. The game started, and the two boys paid no attention to Lu Yu.

Soon, the hum of the computer’s cooling fan filled the room.

The test paper was a chemistry exam. Chemistry was Lu Yu’s strongest subject, and first-year questions weren’t very difficult for him, so grading the paper wasn’t much of a challenge.

But as he looked over the wrong answers, Lu Yu frowned with concern.

He wasn’t sure whether Lu Linxing’s attitude toward studying was careless or if he genuinely didn’t understand the material. To Lu Yu’s eyes, even some basic questions were marked wrong.

He wanted to remind Lu Linxing about two simple problems but worried that his brother would be annoyed by his nagging.

Yet, in the end, his concern for his younger brother—the affection he longed for—won out.

Lu Yu took the test paper over to Lu Linxing, who was engrossed in the game. Lu Yu wisely chose to keep silent.

The two boys shouted and bickered while playing, and Lu Yu patiently waited for the game to end. When bored, he picked up the test paper and reviewed it twice more to ensure he hadn’t made any grading mistakes.

He felt a faint sense of pride.

Perhaps this would prevent others from looking down on him.

“Damn, I swear, I could play better with my feet than these stupid teammates!” Lu Linxing took off his headset, venting his fury.

Lu Yu didn’t understand games; in his life trajectory, gaming had no place.

But he recognized the English word “OVER!” on the screen.

“Finished grading?” Lu Linxing had long noticed Lu Yu standing behind him but chose to ignore him.

Now that the game was lost, he wanted to vent his anger somewhere. Since Lu Xiangyi was close to him, he wouldn’t take it out on him, so Lu Yu seemed the most convenient target.

Lu Yu nodded, holding the test paper in one hand and a red pen in the other, handing it over. “I looked over your mistakes. Besides some harder questions, many are basic chemistry problems you shouldn’t have missed. Let me explain them to you.”

“Did Mom tell you to teach me?” Lu Linxing’s features were delicate and handsome.

His features hadn’t fully matured yet; when he smiled, two little tiger teeth showed, making him the kind of person everyone found endearing. Yet, the words he spoke were cold.

Lu Yu was momentarily stunned. “What?”

“You want the kid at the bottom of the class to teach me? Brother.” Lu Linxing smiled, eyes crescent-shaped.

The phrase “bottom of the class” referred to the time Lu Yu had performed poorly due to illness—a fact known to the entire family. Zhuang Ningyue had barely spoken to him for half a month after that.

Only when Lu Yu returned to the top ten in the monthly exam the following month did he earn forgiveness.

“Second brother, aren’t you close with Song Jianli? Couldn’t he get corrupted by you, the top student in the grade?” Lu Linxing couldn’t see Lu Yu’s trembling hands or pale face, lost in his own verbal satisfaction.

Lu Yu slammed the test paper down on the desk, his body trembling with anger. “Lu Linxing! Is that how you talk to your brother?”

Soft-hearted people, even when angry, held no real threat.

“What’s wrong with my attitude? I don’t like you. I don’t think you deserve to be my brother. I have Big Brother and Yi Ge; that’s enough. To me, you’ve always been an outsider to the Lu family!”

Lu Linxing stood up from his gaming chair. When he was growing, Zhuang Ningyue had hired a nutritionist for him, so now he was even taller than Lu Yu.

Lu Xiangyi was shocked by Lu Linxing’s words and hurriedly stood to grab Lu Linxing’s hand. “Brother Lu Yu, Linxing’s just mad because he lost in the ranked game. He’s talking nonsense. Please don’t be angry!”

“You’ve always been an outsider to the Lu family!” Words said in anger cut deepest.

Lu Yu had long known that Lu Linxing was selectively rebellious—sweet and charming with elders but defiant and volatile with peers. Yet, Lu Yu had repeatedly tolerated his rebelliousness.

But now, those past rebellions paled compared to the real hurtful words spoken.

“So that’s how you really think?” Lu Yu’s anger faded. His gaze was desolate and calm, his deep eyes like still water, utterly undisturbed by the slightest breeze.

Lu Linxing was pulled back to reason by Lu Xiangyi but couldn’t find any words to take back due to Lu Yu’s long patience. He simply turned away with a snort.

“...” Lu Xiangyi was caught in the middle, utterly embarrassed.

Lu Yu put down the red pen on the desk. “Sorry, Linxing. I shouldn’t have meddled.”

Lu Linxing: ...

Lu Yu turned and left, his figure lonely and thin.

Lu Linxing wanted to call him back to say that his words were just in the heat of the moment after losing the game, that he didn’t mean them—but the door closed, and he never managed to say it.

Adolescents are always proud.

After saying hurtful things, pride takes over, leading to irreparable mistakes.

—

[Happy Diary]

[April 26th, Clear Skies, Mood: Cloudy]

[You will slowly forget the people around you. One day, you will forget everyone. But please remember, among those you forget, except for one named Song Jianli, the rest are [unimportant].]

[They will say hurtful things, but please don’t be sad, because Song Jianli will be sad too.]

[Who is Song Jianli?]

[If you forget him, please open the top note in your phone’s memo.]

Happy diaries record unhappiness; the heart’s walls gain another lock.