Chapter 11: Unwilling to Give Up

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Gu Xinyao had no idea how far they had run. They turned into a narrow alley, dimly lit, with white biodegradable organic recycling bins stacked in the corner. This was likely where the government cafeteria kept its kitchen waste. Since it was Saturday, no one was around—an ideal place to hide.

She glanced toward the alley entrance and saw no pursuers, so she paused, ready to continue running. Raising her hand to fan herself and cool down, she realized she was still holding a hand. The palm was slender, fingers neatly trimmed. Pressing their palms together, she noticed several uneven indentations—small pits. Instinctively, she turned the hand over and saw faint, shallow blood grooves carved into the palm.

“How could it be injured here?” she whispered, gripping his hand tightly. With her other hand, she rummaged through her pockets until she found a small tubular bottle of liquid, its contents sloshing inside. She uncorked it and let the transparent fluid drip into the tiny grooves. The rough edges of the wounds slowly closed, not fully healed but enough to hide the gruesome scars.

“I don’t need…” The pain she had suppressed for so long finally erupted at Gu Xinyao’s gentle, low murmur. Why did she have to appear now? Why was she so kind to him? Why, why? The last thing he needed was her pity. He was a fiercely proud man, peculiar in his ways. But who had he offended? Who had he harmed? Why did everyone treat him like this?

Gu Xinyao held his hand carefully, avoiding the injured parts. When she looked up, her eyes met his. His bright, handsome eyes blazed with anger, yet beneath the fury, something was quietly extinguishing.

“Du Gu… Yi, I don’t mean to pity you. I saw this morning’s newspaper. I know none of this was what you wanted. When you were asleep, you weren’t like this.” Gu Xinyao’s heart ached at the sight of his lost composure and coldness. She never knew that caring for a man felt like this—she wished to give him everything she could.

Du Gu Yi’s nose prickled as he heard her earnest words denying pity. He pushed her hand away and turned his back, unwilling to let her see his expression.

“Gu, Gu Xinyao, I told you we shouldn’t meet again. I won’t marry, and now I have no right to ask you to be my lover. You should find someone suitable.” His voice was cold, but only he knew how much self-control it took to speak without trembling or choking up.

Gu Xinyao stared at his retreating figure, stunned. Could it be that even if she bared her heart to him, she couldn’t melt his heart of stone?

Her expression shifted through a spectrum of emotions, as if overnight she had reached the end of her life, with no road ahead to rush forward.

“Du Gu…” she opened her mouth but found her throat dry and her mind blank.

“I won’t give up!” No, this was not what she wanted. She refused to believe this was his true feeling—there had to be something she hadn’t considered.

She finally found her voice again. He was the happiness she had come here seeking. She had no reason to give up over a lie that didn’t exist. She knew he was not as calm or cold as he appeared. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so flustered and helpless in front of the reporters earlier. She wanted to tell him she wouldn’t give up, even if in the end they couldn’t be together; at least she had tried.

Beep—

A long series of car horns blared through the empty alley, drowning out whatever Du Gu Yi meant to say.

“Brother, I finally found you! Mom wants you to come home!” A woman with smoky makeup jumped out of the red car stopped at the alley entrance. It was Du Gu Nan, the same woman from the Yuanshan café last time.

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Gu Xinyao watched the girl approach, her heart gradually calming. Though she didn’t think much of Du Gu Yi’s sister, family showing up at this moment was a comfort for Du Gu Yi.

“Take good care of yourself. I won’t disappoint you, and I won’t give up on you!” Before Du Gu Nan reached them, Gu Xinyao gently embraced Du Gu Yi from behind and whispered close to his ear.

Du Gu Yi froze at her touch. Her words echoed in his ears—bittersweet.

Before he could respond, Gu Xinyao quietly released him, and by the time he turned, she was already walking toward the alley entrance.

As Gu Xinyao passed Du Gu Nan, the latter sharply turned her head. In the brief moment their eyes met, Gu Xinyao caught a glimpse of malice.

Without looking back, Gu Xinyao strode straight out of the alley. At the entrance, she paused, unable to resist looking back once more.

In that instant, she saw Du Gu Yi walking alongside Du Gu Nan, both looking toward the alley entrance. Their eyes met, and she clearly saw a glimmer of tears in his eyes.

She exhaled slowly and decisively turned away. She would not allow him to be hurt, not even mentally.

“Brother, this time you really embarrassed yourself. Mom wants you to come back and reflect. Word has probably spread at school, so she told you not to go for now. By the way, that woman just now—I think I’ve seen her somewhere. Women like that only want to benefit from you. You’re too naive. Just wait to marry Duan Mu Feng. Don’t get mixed up with these women, okay!” Du Gu Nan’s words sounded like concern but were in fact blatant insults, dripping with scorn. Her expression was smug and triumphant.

Du Gu Yi’s mind was still on Gu Xinyao’s words and the look they shared moments ago. Du Gu Nan’s taunts barely registered. He was used to such mockery.

As the car carrying Du Gu Nan pulled away from the street, he still caught sight of Gu Xinyao’s straight back and composed figure.

He leaned against the car door, his gaze involuntarily following her.

As the car rounded a corner, he spotted a young man approaching Gu Xinyao, a face he vaguely recognized.

“What are you looking at?” Du Gu Nan noticed Du Gu Yi staring out the window and asked while driving.

Du Gu Yi withdrew his gaze, his face calm but his eyes dimming with sorrow.

“Nothing.” Sitting up straight, he lowered his eyelids and saw the healing wound on his palm, still covered in medicine. If he missed her now, perhaps he would never find anyone better. Bitterly, he thought, but he no longer had the right. He quietly closed his eyes, and a tear fell onto his injured palm. The silent droplet made the slowly healing wound sting faintly.

***

When Gu Xinyao returned to the grocery store, it was already afternoon.

She had lunch outside with Han Ke. Though they hadn’t become lovers, they had become friends. After arriving in this time and space, most of her previous knowledge was useless, but it didn’t hinder her interest in other fields like mathematics, physics, and chemistry.

Han Ke had some knowledge in these areas and had become a good teacher to Gu Xinyao. Their relationship was more like teacher and student than mere friends. Gu Xinyao also gave Han Ke many tips, especially about fashion.

Qin Rou was busy organizing new stock when she saw Gu Xinyao return. She put down a pile of smart control rods, walked over, and patted her shoulder.

“How did it go? Did you find him?” Many things could be predicted without guessing. Qin Rou asked out of concern.

Gu Xinyao was silent at first, then looked up at Qin Rou, who stared at her with a mix of hope and expectation.

“What’s... wrong?” Qin Rou stammered, unsure of what her gaze meant.

“Qin Jie, can you help me?” Gu Xinyao’s voice was pleading, the kind of tone Qin Rou would never forget even after many years.

Qin Rou withdrew her hand from Gu Xinyao’s shoulder and turned to arrange samples on the smart control rod rack. She neither agreed nor refused.

Gu Xinyao waited silently for her response, but Qin Rou did not turn around.

“Qin Jie, I know asking this is putting you in a tough spot. But you’re the only one who can help me now.” She had learned from Han Ke that Qin Rou had a vast social network, from noble families to common folk. There was probably no one she hadn’t met.

If there was hope to help Du Gu Yi, Qin Rou might be the key. The other man in the photo had to be someone Qin Rou knew.

“Ah Yao, do you realize what you’re doing? You’re playing with fire.” After damaging a smart control rod, Qin Rou finally turned around, her face filled with unprecedented disappointment and hidden anger.

Gu Xinyao lowered her eyes. She knew what she was doing, but she couldn’t let go. The past life felt like a different world. She hadn’t found happiness then, but now she saw a shadow of it and didn’t want to miss it or disappoint her parents.

“Sigh! I give up on you. I’ve never met anyone more stubborn.” Qin Rou sighed softly. She admitted defeat to Gu Xinyao’s persistence and finally relented. “The other man in the newspaper is Li Wu, husband of Director Qu from the government logistics department. He was never easy to handle in his youth. Though he’s more restrained now, he has numerous mistresses in private. He often goes to a chess parlor in the West District called ‘You You,’ supposedly to play cards, but mostly to meet mistresses. You can start looking for clues there.”

Gu Xinyao’s face lit up with joy. She knew Qin Rou wasn’t the type to abandon someone in need. She hurried to the rack, embraced Qin Rou tightly, then turned and dashed out, glancing back as she ran.

“Qin Jie, I knew you were the best. Please keep being kind. I need to take a few days off.”

Qin Rou looked gloomily at the closing door holding a smart control rod. It seemed she wouldn’t have a chance to get some fresh air these days.