Chapter 36: Unity of Man and Gun

As the sunset glow hung in the sky, everyone was already swaying with drunkenness. Leftovers littered the table, untouched. Zhusha, staggering as he walked, swept up the bird feathers, dried leaves, and debris from the floor and shoved them into the stove to burn. The warm, smoky air made everyone feel quite comfortable.

Hu Jiao looked at Xiao Bugui with a charming gaze and said, "Come, accompany me to the market. You are leaving tomorrow, and your clothes are starting to reek. Let me buy you something new."

Xiao Bugui, sprawled on the floor in a drunken stupor, raised an arm to sniff his sleeve. Detecting no particular odor, he replied, "I just changed into these at the Hao residence. There is no need to buy more."

But Hu Jiao had already grabbed his feet and began dragging him toward the town.

As Xiao Bugui lay flat, his body scraping against the ground, he could only plead, "Sister Jiaojiao, can you let me stand up first?"

Hu Jiao retorted, "If your clothes aren't torn enough, how can I justify buying you new ones?"

Xiao Bugui begged, "They are already torn! If you keep dragging me like this, you'll be grinding away my skin."

Only then did Hu Jiao release him. "These clothes are poor quality; they tear too easily. I must buy you something durable."

The town market was bustling. Hu Jiao pulled Xiao Bugui to a tailor shop. Master Zhang the tailor knew Hu Jiao well as a regular customer. Seeing her enter, he greeted her warmly: "Ah, Miss Hu. Why have you brought a pretty boy along this time? He looks better than those old monsters up on the mountain."

Hu Jiao asked, "Do you have any quality fabric?"

Master Zhang inspected the material Xiao Bugui was wearing and said, "This is made of fine silk. It’s a pity it's torn, but it's fine; I can mend it for him."

Hu Jiao flatly refused. "Throw it away. I want to get him the best one available."

"I don't have anything like that here," Master Zhang said.

Hu Jiao pressed, "Don't you have that ancestral treasure?"

"That is a true treasure," Master Zhang replied. "I won't sell it."

Hu Jiao tossed out two gold bars. "You have no children and no family; what use is it to you? Wouldn't it be better to go off and enjoy yourself?"

Seeing the gold, Master Zhang’s eyes lit up. He picked up one bar and bit into it. Ignoring the ache in his teeth, he laughed heartily, "I am old, too; it is time I enjoyed myself. I'll take it off for you right now."

It turned out that Master Zhang wore his "treasure garment" against his skin to prevent it from being stolen. Overjoyed and disregarding modesty, he deftly stripped it off. Hu Jiao turned her back and said, "You old man, have you dirtied the treasure with your wearing of it?"

Master Zhang, now completely naked, revealed a withered, skeletal frame with wrinkled skin—a sight too painful to look at. He handed the garment to Xiao Bugui and said, "This treasure is impervious to blades and bullets, resistant to water and fire, and it carries a fragrant scent that never goes stale. Do not look down on it; this is a life-saving wonder." He then shuffled off to a secluded corner to put on a new set of clothes.

"Thank you, Sister Jiaojiao," Xiao Bugui said as he folded the garment.

Hu Jiao said, "I will wash this for you before you wear it. Let’s head home."

Back home, Hu Jiao went to wash the clothes. The drunken Xiao Bugui lay on the bed, preparing to sleep, when the Green Lion on his chest suddenly spoke: "Xiao Bugui, I have already finished refining your treasure."

"What treasure?" Xiao Bugui asked.

The Green Lion replied, "Your Seven-Kill Spear. It is about to merge with your body."

Xiao Bugui asked, "You mean it will become a part of me? Where am I supposed to put it?"

"Well, you aren't missing any limbs, so anywhere you put it would be an extra. Just put it on your navel! Once you and the spear are one, you will be able to perform the most powerful spear technique: the 'Flying Sky Sun Cudgel'." The Green Lion tattoo transformed into a lion's head, opened its mouth, and spat out the Seven-Kill Spear, which attached itself to Xiao Bugui’s navel. His clothes bulged like a pregnant belly—or perhaps like a mountain peak rising from his stomach.

Xiao Bugui gasped, "You can't be serious! The Seven-Kill Spear growing right there? How ugly is that?"

The Green Lion offered a solution: "The Seven-Kill Spear is now under your control. It can grow, shrink, and move forward, backward, up, or down. If you think it's ugly, you can move it to your backside and use it as a tail."

Xiao Bugui moved the spear to act as a tail. He unfastened his clothes and looked back, still dissatisfied. "Even as a tail, it's too long. It’s so inconvenient for walking. It would be better if it were shorter." But despite trying several times, his thoughts could not manifest the change; the Seven-Kill Spear remained the same.

"Shrink! Shrink! Shrink!" Xiao Bugui shouted three times, but it had no effect. He asked the Green Lion, "What’s going on? It’s not obeying my commands."

The Green Lion said, "Perhaps it is because your meridians have not yet been fully connected to the spear. I have no solution for that right now."

Hu Jiao returned just as she finished washing the clothes. She naturally saw the sight. Out of misunderstanding, she covered her eyes with her hands, peeking through her fingers: "Xiao Bugui, in broad daylight, what are you trying to do?"

Xiao Bugui pointed at the Seven-Kill Spear, explaining with innocent shyness, "I don't know what’s wrong with this spear, Sister Jiaojiao. Please, help me find a way."

"So, this is Fang Dabai's Seven-Kill Spear," Hu Jiao noted, observing closely. Suddenly, her face flushed red, and she said, "You should go ask someone else for help."

Xiao Bugui said in despair, "Sister, you are the only one who is good to me here. If this tail is so long, won't people laugh at me when I walk?"

Hu Jiao said awkwardly, "The Seven-Kill Spear is no ordinary weapon. Let me think of a way."

Xiao Bugui had lived on a fairy island since he was a child, knowing neither emotion nor desire to attain longevity. Now, flustered by this incident, he was at a loss. "Is there any good way?"

Hu Jiao was in no hurry, pondering the solution with feigned nonchalance. Yin Wuxiang, however, was anxious. His projection burst into the room: "Sect Leader Shi has awakened. Xiao Bugui, come with me quickly; we are going to Fallen Leaf Villa."

Yin Wuxiang naturally witnessed their behavior. Fearing a misunderstanding, Xiao Bugui hurriedly put on his clothes.

Hu Jiao, however, was unfazed. "Protector Yin is knowledgeable. Xiao Bugui, take it off and let Protector Yin take a look."

"There's no time! We'll look on the way." Yin Wuxiang, who possessed the art of earth-shaping, grabbed Xiao Bugui and dived into the ground. Hu Jiao tried to hold them back: "Wait! I haven't even given him the new clothes I bought!"

Before his mouth disappeared into the earth, Xiao Bugui called out a farewell: "Sister Jiaojiao, keep the treasure garment for yourself. I am already impervious to blades and bullets."

Unable to keep him, and with the anticipated fun failing to materialize, Hu Jiao stomped her feet in anger: "You stinking lump of mud! You ruined everything. My estrus period is almost here, and it was so hard to find a man, only for you to snatch him away."

Yin Wuxiang’s voice echoed back from the earth: "It’s not even dark yet; what are you making a fuss about in broad daylight!"

Because the Seven-Kill Spear was too long, Xiao Bugui, coerced by Yin Wuxiang underground, had no choice but to bend the spear behind his backside, pretending it was a tail to avoid embarrassment.

Yin Wuxiang teased him: "Truly, every generation of the jianghu produces new talents! Some hide treasures in their mouths, others hide hidden weapons in their anuses, and now you hide a spearhead behind your backside. The jianghu is becoming more dangerous by the day."

Xiao Bugui wanted to speak, but mud entered his mouth, and he felt it hard to breathe. Since he did not know the art of earth-shaping, he could only keep his eyes and mouth closed.

Seeing Xiao Bugui's discomfort, Yin Wuxiang said, "You can shapeshift. Turn into a pangolin, and I can just carry you."

Xiao Bugui transformed into a pangolin, and Yin Wuxiang tucked him under his arm and departed.